updates

i havent written in a while so i thought i would sit down and give you all an update on everything.

so as you may know already, angelica moved in with me. it is working out great! at first she watched breezy while i worked so i didnt have to worry about that and now she has taken over for me at my previous place of employment. now she is able to save up money to get a car. hopefully she will never move out, though. i want her to live with me forever!!!!! muahahahahaha. lol.

i started my new job yesterday. if you follow me on twitter and pownce and iilwy and all those other social networking sites you would know that i am loving it. but for those of you who don't and only know whats up in my life on my blog then i will recap. i started it yesterday and i love it! i probably emailed about 100 times and the same with today. no; emailing is not my job, but its the best way to keep in contact with my boss and thats how he gives me my agenda, which changes all the time. the company has been around for about 20 years, but he just opened an office in slo. my current title is production coordinator. which, in andrew magers words, means coordinator of activity! ha! i have been super busy and the time goes by so quickly. right now, i am bascially just organzing the office and taking all of my boss's calls. calling people, retunring phone calls, faxing, emailing, getting bids, scheduling contractors etc. it is so awesome. and the pay is wonderful too! and will be more wonderful in 60 days when i prove to him that i can kick ass at this job! my office is cool too. i will post pics on flickr sometime next week. i keep forgetting my camera at home. boooooo.

now lastly; breezy. she will be leaving auagust 6th to move out to her dad's in GA. i am incredibly messed up about it and have not been so willingly to let her go. i had to make the decision, though, because she deserves to see her father. and he is almost guaranteed to not deploy for another year. i am just so sad to see her go especially since i have made so much progress with her and her behavior after getting her back from him the last time. but i do know that it will work out for me and for her as well. not emotionally, but in every other aspect of life. with this new job and my feeling so incredibly burnt out and confused, i will have more time to reflect on this past year and see what changes i need to drastically make in my life.

angelica and i are trying our hardest to drop some weight. i was living such an unhealthy lifestyle. and in the past month or so, she and i have made some big changes. we are on slim-fast. yes, thats right; slim-fast. it is actually working out well for the both of us. well, correction-we are drinking kirkland brand slim-fast. it is better tasting anyway. i have dropped some punds and i am sure hellie has too-although she thinks she hasnt- and i feel so much better about my body. mager gave me some good tips too. so i have to give a shout out to him! --ahhhhh laptop is going to die!!!--

well, i should get back to organizing and such. i will update more tomorrow.

freak yeah ...

this is just one hundred percent amazing..... angie got out yesterday and i went to meet her after my dr. appt. (more about that later) and we went to the quarterdeck to have some lunch. i told her i would take her out to dinner, but she couldnt wait for that sunset passion (and honestly; neither could i) so we went earlier. the last time she and i ordered one of those was when we went there to celebrate me getting this job and that was back in june and let me tell you.... that sunset passion tasted better than i had remebered. it was dayum good! anyway, i ordered a tri tip sandwich (which is so un-like me) and she ordered the cheeseburger. i had never seen anyone suck down a cheeseburger as fast as she did lol... she hasn't had real food since before she got locked up and she said it was the best cheeseburger she ever had. after we had lunch we went back to my house and she got online and checked all her messages on myspace and yahoo and caught up on a couple things then we went to go get bryanna.... after that we went shopping and then went back to my house to chill for a bit, then i took her home. it was so nice and wonderful having her out and me being able to talk to her face to face. i was sooooo nervous seeing her for whatever reason, but as soon as she got out of her car and i gace her a hug that all went away.

gotta go... i hope all of you out there have a wonderful rest of the week!

excitement

So i called angie's mom yesterday to see how her court thing went and she told me that angelica might be getting out sometime next week! i was going to go down to visit her, bu if she is getting out next week i'll just wait until i pick her up. i am so fucking excited. she is trying to get into a sober home in santa maria somewhere and interviews for it today. i hope she can get in. it would be good for her. she told me that as soon as she gets out she wants to go to the quarterdeck and get a sunset passion... so im gunna take her there and get one. i really hope that she does get out next week, but i am not going to get my hopes up. i would be very disappointed if she didn't. i mean i will anyway, but i am not expecting her to get out so soon. shes supposed to be out the end of this month anyway and shes already been in for over a month now so having to wait an extra couple of weeks isnt so bad. i miss her.

absolutely crushed

My friends mom called me today and told me she talked to Angelica. Angelica said she doesnt want any visitors because shes ashamed of whats going on with her being in jail and all. I am so sad because I really want to see her, but I can respect and understand her decision. I have been writing her and I am going to send her some money this weekend so she can buy some things while shes in there. At least she got my letters and appreciates that. I just want her to know I am here for her. Wish I could say it face to face, but hopefully she'll want to have someone visit her.

Angelica!!! I LOVE YOU and MISS YOU!!!

twisting knots in my stomach

i am absolutely so sick to my stomach about my friends situation. I just wanted so much to be there for her today and I couldnt and I feel like crap. I have been an emotional wreck all day and it looks like I am not going to be able to go down to sb co. jail to see her either tomorrow. boooooo. i feel so sick. damn. i fucking MISS HER!

extreme crap...

I just found out recently that one of my best friends just got arrested. She was pulled over for whatever reason and then searched. She was with someone and his son (who was a minor) in her car and was caught with possesion of meth. now theyre trying her for distribution because i guess she had a lot on her. her bail is 34,000.00 so its a felony charge which she is looking at some prison time. i am going to go to her court hearing on friday and go visit her in jail on saturday. i freakin am so fucked up about this. i am mad at her for even putting herself in that situation, but i am sad because i cant pick up the phone and call her. she cant pick up the phone and call me. i love her to death and i care about her so much i hate that shes in this place. i wrote her a letter telling her that i am here for her. if she needs me to go to her court hearings, im there... if she needs me to visit as often as i can, im there. i will write her every week and will do what i can to be there for her with the limitations she has. i know that none of her friends are even going to give a crap about this. theyve always turned their back on her when she needed someone. (not bragging) but i have always been there for her. i had just barely gotten to know her and offered my home to her and her husband when they didnt have a place to go. and even when i didnt have a place to live and was with my mother i offered her the couch i slept on so she wouldnt have to sleep in her car. she tried asking friends (who had their own places) but they always said no so she had to sleep in her car those nights, but i was always there for her and i am going to be there for her now. i just hope she knows that i am thinking about her and that i will be there for her. man.... this fucking sucks